Marriage

My brother is getting married Sunday. They sort of eloped. We all knew about it, but they are past the frivolities at this point. Twelve years and five children later, it's just time to go for it; and I couldn't be happier for them.

My parents have been married for 32 years come this September and they fight like cats and dogs. I think that's where I get my confrontational attitude from. Well, I see the dynamics of my parents shaping my relationship right now. My mother was an only child. She says she wasn't spoiled, there is substantial evidence to prove otherwise. When they disagree, she retreats. She goes to "her space" and gets over it. Drew does the same thing. My dad, much like myself, had siblings growing up. When he got mad, I'm guessing he confronts it and deals with it then and there. That's my philosophy. I don't think there is a point in walking away and getting over it. There is warrent to letting steam off, but you still have to confront the issue. To me, there is nothing more irratating than confronting issues over and over and over again.

I see my parents in our relationships often. Even in our love for each other. Which brings me to my brother. I am happy that they are getting married. I'm happy that they are committing to each other. That is a helluva committment.

There is a point where you are scared as all get out that one fight is gonna be the "big one". That it will just take that quake of an argument to end the relationship. Some people don't wed because of that. They are like, what if? What if we fight and end it, what if I give everything of myself, and put it all out there naked-like, baby born, and raw; and he/she craps on me? That's a big what if. But it is a thought that I have at least thought about. I have been scared like that and really wondered, what the heck I'm doing being engaged to someone, letting them have that peice of me.

Then there is that point when something else happens. It doesn't even have to be that big scary fight you've feared. It could just be that moment when something; ( don't ask me what it is, I don't know for sure) inside you says. Why not? It is a bit more sophisticated than that, I don't want to mislead people into thinking that they can just go up to strangers and say ' why not?' and have at it. Yet, when you really disect all of the intricate parts of your heart, and that other person is an integral piece of it, then you're on to something. So yes, time does have to be a factor. Experiences do have to happen; as my readings have taught me, a marriage has to take place before the actual wedding.

I'm glad that after 12 years, a marriage has taken place. After 32 years, there is still a marriage there. After a year and a half, me and drew are committed to building our marriage. Even after April 09', we will have to continue to work on it, but it will be there. That marriage will have been established and we will have something to celebrate!